she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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