it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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