Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
