I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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