Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
