Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
