Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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