I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
