Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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