On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
