We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize