So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize