Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
