me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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