It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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