dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
