it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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