so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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