Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
