oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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