this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
