he shaved USA in his pubs
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize