why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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