I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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