Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
