2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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