a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's blow job season.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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