when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize