: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
