i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
