so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
