It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
