Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
