she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
