he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
