I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
