finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
