so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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