is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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