do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize