Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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