AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I will be naked everywhere
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize