so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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