Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I puked a lego.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
