dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
