I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i think my cat just said my name.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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