if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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