I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
