dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
