Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So much rum. So many feels.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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