is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
