I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
