check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
