I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
