My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
