Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
