My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
