No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
